It’ll be fun

One day before your procedure:

Drink only clear liquids for breakfast, lunch and dinner. All solid foods, milk, and milk products are not allowed. No alcoholic beverages of any kind….

Approved clear liquids: All clear soft drinks: 7-Up, Sprite, etc. All clear juices: Apple, white cranberry, white grape, or lemonade. PULP FREE. Gatorade or Kool-Aid (not red or purple)…

You may also have: Jell-O or Popsicles (not red or purple); Clear broth or bouillon; Black coffee and tea

No, this isn’t the latest checklist for travelers from the TSA.

Do you think I can convince them that chardonnay is white grape juice? At least I’ll have coffee. And what the heck is white cranberry juice?